I consider myself lucky.
Lucky because I came across this understanding before I met my partner.
This understanding allowed me to begin my relationship knowing that the love I was experiencing was not dependent on the other person.
Knowing that whether I was in this relationship or not I’d always have access to the exact same amount of love. Understanding this allowed me to begin our relationship from the place of unconditional love.
And yet, no matter how amazing the beginning was I couldn’t help but to be curious. Curious about how our relationship would evolve.
All the stories I had heard about couples who had come across this understanding. Couples who received compliments and guesses how they looked like they were newly married, even when they had been married for years.
When in the beginning there was the feeling and faith that our relationship would head to the same direction, after the first years went by I finally began to see evidence about this for myself too.
We indeed could have relationships that were only getting better over time.
Understanding our human experience
If there was one thing for me to name that has profoundly impacted my relationships, it has been learning to see where our experiences come from.
Learning to see where my experience of other people and my relationships comes from.
Understanding that thought creates our experience, and therefore we can never really experience the other person or our relationships as they are — But we can only ever experience our thinking about them.
Seeing that when I feel hurt, sad or angry the other person is not to blame for my feelings, but my feelings are always coming from my perception of the situation — my thinking in the moment. Seeing that negative thinking clouds our experience and that in those moments we cannot trust our ability to judge.
Understanding that there’s nothing we need to do, and yet when our mind calms down, our thinking alway changes and we’ll have a new, more hopeful experience of whatever situation we find ourselves in. When we feel calm and relaxed we can see the reality and our relationships more as they are, and trust our thinking in the moment.
Seeing beyond our challenges
This understanding has made all the difference I was looking for when it comes to my relationships. It has allowed me to see that all the love and happiness I was ever looking for I already had within me. Which has allowed me to show up in my relationships from the place of unconditional love.
Knowing that if our paths ever diverged, we would both be happy again. Being fortunate to know this and yet, choose each other over and over again has only allowed our love to deepen.
Of course there has been times when we have both felt probably all the negative emotions under the sky and when it has felt hard — We cannot escape our humanness and we all get caught up in our thinking from time to time.
But knowing that those moments are only ever temporary and as soon as our mind calms down, those negative thoughts and feelings subside and we begin to see with more clarity and become aware of the feelings of love again.
Understanding this has allowed us to not get too caught up in those things we in low moods consider as problems. It has allowed us to move more gracefully forward focusing on what’s important for us.
— Which is the feeling of connection and love.
Choosing the direction of our relationships
One of the saddest misunderstandings I see out there is that in order for us to have good relationships we believe that we need to fix our problems and work on the relationship.
And this way we innocently many times end up making things worst.
Whatever we focus on we begin to see more. And if we focus on the problems and challenges we have, the more problems and challenges we begin to see. That’s just how our mind works.
We are gifted with this gift of universal mind that provides us more evidence about the direction we look at. It doesn’t matter if what we see is true or not, but the mind will always create more thoughts around what we focus on allowing us to create our own reality.
Recognizing this allows us to wake up to see more what is true. It allows us to become aware where our experience is coming from — from moment to moment — and to choose the direction we want to move towards.
When focusing on our problems many times makes things worst, focusing on the good on the other hand allows us to see beyond our problems and have relationships that get only better over time.
Moving forward more gracefully
Understanding that in those moments when it feels hard, we are always caught up in our thinking allows us to more gracefully move forward when it comes to our relationships.
It allows us to begin to see how when we wait until our mind calms down and see things more with clarity again we do less damage and are able to move forward much more effortlessly.
When we don’t react to those negative thoughts and emotions of ours, our intelligent system can more easily bring us back to balance to experience the love that exists in our relationships.
That is when what looked like a huge problem before, in the present moment looks more like something that can be resolved with the help of goodwill and understanding. If we even still think that there is something that needs to be resolved.
This way not only are we better able to overcome whatever challenges we experience in life, but also we’ll have more time on enjoying our relationships and cultivating those feelings of love and understanding.
We don’t need to work on our relationships. We just need to recognize the power of thought when it comes to our relationships and learn to not react when we are caught up in our thinking.
This way good relationships can begin to happen naturally for us.
Deepening the feeling of love
I’ve began to see how every time when my understanding deepens, my relationship gets better.
The feelings of love between me and my partner deepens and I begin to discover new depths of the feeling. And it takes only one person to make the difference.
The other day my partner said that how is it possible that it still feels like we had just fallen in love. And believe me or not, but it seems to me like my partner could be less interested in learning about this understanding. And yet, our relationship benefits from the deepened understanding that happens within me.
When we come from this place the other person can feel this. Understanding that our experience is created from within allows us to begin to show up more from that place of unconditional love and understanding. And when we show up from this place it affects others.
It allows them to begin to show up more from that same place of love within them. And from that place they cannot help but to see more what is true for themselves too.
Relationships evolve and where we come from the place within us allows us to choose the direction of this evolvement.
Deepening our understanding of our human experience ultimately allows us to connect and show up more from that place of deeper feelings of love.
So that our relationships can get only better over time allowing us to see more of the beauty of who we truly are and experience more of the depths of the feeling when it comes to our lives.
Sharing an understanding that allows us to connect more with that deeper part within us, so that we can find our own answers from within, find that greater sense of wellbeing and have relationships that feel good.
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