This is what happened to me last week. I heard from a person who I was seeing more than 6 years ago and who I (at that time) felt like had hurt me and broken my heart. What did I feel when I saw him now on my phone screen?
Not the kind of romantic love you might think — But unconditional love and compassion. The kind of love I feel for my family and friends. How did my hurt turn into love? Over all these years I have learned to see through my limiting beliefs and see more what is true. And when our understanding deepens hurt always transforms into love.
If you experience more hurt than love when it comes to your relationships, it doesn’t have to be that way. This week’s post can help you to see how you can get over your hurt more effortlessly, so that you can begin to live more in love and have the kind of loving relationships you want to have.
Where does the feeling of hurt come from?
The feeling of emotional hurt we experience never comes from anything the other person says or does, but always from our own way of seeing the situation.
Another person simply cannot hurt you.
When he doesn’t call you back even if he told he would, when he never listens to you anymore or says something that hurts you, the emotional pain you experience comes from all the stories you create around what really happens.
“He didn’t call me, because he doesn’t really care about me.“
“He doesn’t listen to me, because he doesn’t appreciate me at all.“
Everything you add there after your “because” and that hurts you is simply not true. It is your imagination —Something that you have chosen to believe in over more than million other options. They might be busy with their work and therefore unable to call you, or so stressed with their life that they are simply unable to listen.
The feeling of hurt doesn’t come from anything the other person says or does, but always from the meaning you give for what they do. The more you realize how this is true, the easier it becomes for you to tune into the feeling of love when it comes to your relationships.
What about when they are unloving?
What the other person says or does when they are unloving has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with their own state of mind. If they are not coming from the place of love they are caught up in their thinking — Always. And when we are caught up in our thinking we are unable to express love — Everyone of us.
When we understand this we stop expecting the other person to act in a way that is impossible for them. We all get caught up in our thinking when we feel stressed or cannot see clearly from our heated emotions. That is when we all say or do things that we are not proud of — More or less.
The more we see this to be true, the less personally we take the behavior of another person when they come from the place of unkindness, and the more we can see those moments just as something temporary.
How hurt transforms into love
The more we can see where the other person is coming from whenever they are unloving, the easier it becomes for us to show up from the place of love. When you are able to see how the other person is struggling, your heart naturally goes out to them.
You begin to feel compassion, and that is when hurt transforms into love. The more our understanding deepens, the easier it becomes for us to show up from the place of love no matter of our outside circumstances.
Seeing the other person there on my phone got me to remember how grateful I was for him for being there as a lesson for me and showing me more what love really is, and what it is not. Not only do I see him completely different today, when I have learned to see through my feelings of hurt, but also my hurt has naturally transformed into love.
Having loving relationships more effortlessly
If you feel like you experience more hurt than love when it comes to your relationships, just know that it doesn’t have to be that way. The more you begin to see through your limiting beliefs, the more you will begin to see with the eyes of love.
You can stop living in hurt and start to live more in love, regardless of your outside circumstances — And when you begin to do this your relationships will begin to change.
People around you will begin to act more lovingly, simply because you are coming more from the place of love. You’ll begin to attract the right people into your life and loving, healthy, strong relationships will begin to happen naturally to you.
You have everything within to have the kind of loving relationships you are meant to have and it all starts from within. When your understanding deepens, not only does hurt transform into love but good relationships start to happen naturally to you.
Sharing an understanding that allows us to connect more with that deeper part within us, so that we can find our own answers from within, find that greater sense of wellbeing and have relationships that feel good.
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