How do we find love?

How do we find love?

How do we find love?

When I reflect back in time this was one of my favourite quotes around the time I met my partner.


“Love is what you are already. Love doesn’t seek anything. It’s already complete. It doesn’t want, doesn’t need, has no shoulds. It already has everything it wants, it already is everything it wants, just the way it wants it. So when I hear people say that they love someone and want to be loved in return, I know they’re not talking about love. They’re talking about something else.” — Byron Katie


Why? Because I had just learned to see the truth behind those words around that time.

Not only to believe that it was a good idea to find love first within, before throwing ourselves into a relationship.

But truly to recognize how love could only ever be found from within.

Whenever we try to look for love outside ourselves we don’t recognize how this is impossible.

Yes, we may be able to find that other person that is more than we could have ever hoped for. However if we fail to recognise the deeper truth behind love, this kind of love can never be sustainable.

Because at some point we will fall back into our old habitual thinking and lose our awareness of love again, if we don’t recognize the true source of it.

This is what it means that another person cannot make us happy.

What it means that we need to first find love from within us, in order for us find that relationship that we are looking for.

If we try to create the change outside-in this kind of change will never be lasting.

Instead we need to look within. Look deep within our own souls and find that love that is more than we could have ever hoped for.

I don’t know if it will always be guaranteed. Whether or not we will always find the relationship that we have been looking for, when we are able tap into that source of love within us.

I only know that it happened to me.

And I do know that it will be much easier and much more enjoyable for us to find real love this way, than looking for to find that other person to complete us.

And I do know that when we do find that love within us, finding that other person becomes much less important.

Because we can already recognize what we have within us.

Yet, we begin to enjoy our relationships more and other people begin to also enjoy our company more.

We begin to draw the right people towards us.

Love is contagious. The more we show up from that place of love within us, recognizing what we already have, the more loving our outside circumstances turn out to become.

The more loving people around us turn to become. The deeper connection we can feel with others. The more things work out for our benefit and the more right people we draw towards ourselves.

When our inner world becomes more loving, the more loving our outside circumstances also tend to become.

There’s no other option.

And this way, if you ask me, we have much better chances of bringing those loving relationships into our lives as well.

Not only do we find love from within us, but are also able to recognize it when it comes to our relationships and other people as well.

We are able to recognize the love that walks towards us.

With love,
Heidi

Heidi Paavilainen

Sharing an understanding that allows us to connect more with that deeper part within us, so that we can find our own answers from within, find that greater sense of wellbeing and have relationships that feel good.

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