“Change — real change — comes from the inside out.” — Stephen Covey
The other day I was reading a post from one beautiful soul, who wrote how in her younger years she used to chase love and happiness. She wrote how she always wanted to find someone who could make her happy, but over the years and hard work, she started to understand that love and happiness are something that doesn’t come from the other person, but always come from within.
While I truly loved her message and how much it reminded me about my own story, the words “hard work” stopped me.
So many times we believe that creating the change we are looking for has to be hard. It has to require a lot of effort and us pushing through, so that we can become more of who we want to be and get what we want in life.
What I’ve come to see is the opposite. Whether we want to create change when it comes to ourselves, our life or relationships, change doesn’t have to be hard — but it can be effortless.
Real change doesn’t come outside of us, us pushing through, but it comes from within. It’s not that we have to really create the change, but rather allow the change happen.
So today I wanted to share with you some of my best advice how you can deepen your understanding and stop the struggle if you have been longing for a change. You can stop standing on your own way and allow a real change to happen — Because those dreams and desires you have within are there for a reason.
I believe that you deserve to have the kind of life and love you are looking for and at the same time, enjoy creating the change.
Where does a real change come from
In my last years in Uni I really tried to change my life. I practiced yoga and meditation, read several self-help books, tried to think more positively and used affirmations in hope for a change. I really wanted to become more of the person who I wanted to be and find some peace and the love that I was looking for.
I didn’t realize that no matter how much I was trying, a change that comes outside of me would never be lasting. It wasn’t until I learned to look within, I realized where real change comes from and I received what I was looking for — And more.
Real change never comes outside of us. We can always try to motivate ourselves and change our behavior but as long as the way we see our world has not changed, change will never be lasting.
For a real transformation to occur, you need to begin to see your life in a new light. When the way you see your situation changes, your behavior naturally changes and change becomes effortless. This is how change happens inside—out.
Changing your life inside—out
For a real change to occur we have to begin to see our outside circumstances and the world around us in a new light — Our thinking has to change.
Instead of what we are used to think, we don’t need to change our thinking. (That would be really hard work — I’ve been there!) Instead we want to create space for new thoughts — insights — to arise. Insights are the secret ingredient for the change from within.
If you look back at time every single time you have learned something new in your life (everything from learning to read to becoming a better person, or having better relationships) you have experienced an insight — Something in the way you see your world has literally changed.
This kind of change is enjoyable and doesn’t require hard work (but rather inspired action) — It’s natural and effortless.
The world around us is in a constant change and it requires more effort from us to stop the change happening than allowing it to happen naturally through us. We are designed to create and we can use this gift to thrive and follow our dreams and desires. The more we stop standing on our own way the more effortlessly change can happen.
How to stop standing on your own way
You don’t have to try to change your life. You just need to have an intention and stop preventing the change from happening, so that you can allow transformation to take place.
When we try to work on things and create the change outside of ourselves, we just keep ourselves busy and don’t allow any space for the transformation to happen. What we want to do instead is to get out of our heads, stop the overdoing and overthinking and become more present. When we become present we create space in our heads for those new thoughts to arise.
We begin to get insights and see the world around us and our situation in a new light. Many times this is simply the change we are ultimately looking for.
Like when I was looking for love, through insights I learned to see that I already had the happiness and love within that I was looking for. I became so happy that I felt like I didn’t need to find that perfect relationship anymore — And only 3 months after that special person walked into my life. Or when I was trying to reach my goals when it came to my business and realized that the joy really was in engaging with my work and in the action I took everyday (instead of in my goals), my business began to shift.
We can only work out things so far with the help of our intellect and by trying to work hard to reach our goals, but gaining our own insights and following that gentle guidance within, allows the change to be more powerful and effortless.
The importance of following your joy
Like I mentioned before there’s a reason for you to have those dreams and desires within you. I believe that we are not here to struggle and work on things, but we are here to be an expression of who we truly are and enjoy and experience life.
When insights allow us to see our life and situation in a new light, creating the change from within, following our intuition and those things that bring us joy keeps us on the right path.
Following those gentle whispers within that just feel right, guides us to where we want to go in life. Many times they only reveal the next step, and when we take that step another step will appear. Get comfortable being in the unknown, because that’s the best place for those insights to arise and for us to hear that guidance we all have within.
We can only get so far with the help of our intellect and pushing through, but getting to the flow of life and trusting those small whispers of guidance will allow everything to work out better we can even imagine.
You don’t have to change your life, but rather stop standing on your own way, enjoy and allow transformation to happen. Not only is this a more enjoyable, powerful and effortless way for us to follow our dreams, but also the joy we begin to experience when we become more present is one of the most powerful tools in creating the change.
Never underestimate the power of an insight and following your joy. Those small steps might seem meaningless, but when brought all together create a real momentum.
No more struggling and hard work, but rather insights and inspired action — This is how real and lasting change happens.
Sharing an understanding that allows us to connect more with that deeper part within us, so that we can find our own answers from within, find that greater sense of wellbeing and have relationships that feel good.
Receive my weekly emails about love and wellbeing and learn more about my downloadable audios and one-on-one coaching program here.